Abandonment Issues
by LaserChex
Summary: The Jedi commander learns to work through her feelings, going against everything she's learned all her life. Theron learns that he's not alone anymore. Theron/Jedi Knight. Takes place after KOTFE Chapter 9, "Visions in the Dark".


**Wow, okay. This is the first story I've written in _years._ This pairing gives me a lot of feelings and I felt the need to write about important aspects of the relationship that we don't get in-game. I don't own anything!**

"Still no word?" The commander asked Lana, hoping for news about Kaliyo and Jorgan.

"Not yet." Lana replied. "But we'll let you know as soon as that changes." She gave her a short nod in response. "You should get some rest too. You've had quite the long night." Lana said.

"Yeah, you're right." She sighed in defeat. She left the war room and began the walk to her own quarters, mind reeling from the day's events. Recovering from near-death experiences seemed to be one of her frequent pastimes these days. Valkorion remained silent, but she knew there was a chance he was still there, lurking. She paused at her door, accepting the fact that she wouldn't sleep even if she tried. Instead, she turned around and headed for the training room. All of this nonsense with Valkorion had been clouding her mind for too long, but fighting, that was something that she understood. Activating her lightsaber, she programmed the console to begin. She ruthlessly cut down holographic skytroopers, one after the next. Weaving her way through, leaping over to distract and throwing her most advanced combos, she went through wave after wave of the enemies. Finally, she reached the final enemy, an elite skytrooper battle droid. She wore it down and then dispatched it easily by leaping over it and lancing it from behind. Breathing heavily, she looked down at her new lightsaber, examining the intricate patterns on the hilt.

"You know, I never get tired of watching you fight." A voice spoke from the back of the room. She looked up and saw Theron approaching. "Can't sleep either?" He asked.

"Honestly, I don't know if I'm ever going to sleep again." She admitted. A look of concern flashed over his face.

"I've been so worried about the mission… I'm sorry I haven't been paying more attention to what you're going through." He said.

"Theron, this is on me, not you. Don't worry, I'll be okay."

"Are you sure? Because you just completed the hardest training program we have in record time, and it's designed for a whole unit of soldiers."

"Well that just means that I'm a good Jedi." She flashed a smirk.

"No, it means you're an amazing Jedi, but I know you, and you do this when something's wrong."

"It's what I was taught to do, remember? Passion leads to the dark side."

"Uh-huh. So you're willing to break the code for me, but not yourself?" His amber gaze settled on her icy blue eyes.

"You're worth it. I'm not." She looked down.

"Well that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life." He gently lifted her chin so their eyes met once more. A few small tears escaped, rolling down her cheek. "You." he kissed one of her tears away. "Are worth everything." He kissed the other. "Now tell me the truth. How are you?" She buried her head in his chest and let out a quiet sob.

"Scared. I'm so, so scared." She said as he wrapped his arms around her. She smelled like the woods, which wasn't surprising considering the night she'd had. "I'm scared that everyone I'm leading into battle is going to die, that they're wasting their lives for this. But most of all, I'm scared of Valkorion. He controlled my mind once before, and now he's going to do it again." Heart wrenching sobs escaped from her as all of the pent-up emotions came flooding through.

"You're stronger than him now, do you know that? You broke free from him the first time, and I'm sure if he was strong enough to control you, he'd have done it by now." He said softly. She looked up to meet his gaze.

"I can feel his hold… even now. He told me he was leaving, but I can still feel his presence. It's faint, but it's there. It's always there. How am I fit to command an alliance if I can't even keep myself in check? Look at me, I'm a mess!" He pressed his forehead to hers.

"You are the most natural leader I have ever met. You were born to do this, I know it. And you know what? I'm scared too. Now more than ever. Surprisingly, it's not the fleet, Arcann, or even Vaylin that I'm scared of." She pulled back and gave him a questioning glance. He took her hand and led her over to the couch by the console. "When you went off the grid five years ago, nobody knew what happened to you. Satele sent some search parties to try and locate her missing Jedi, and the SIS had alerts out in every base we had. After a couple months, they all gave up. I didn't. I kept digging and meeting with contacts and traveling all over the damn galaxy trying to find you. When I got the message from Lana, I was desperate. My search was turning up nothing and I wasn't about to go to a funeral if I didn't know you were dead."

"The next day I met with Lana, and she told me what had happened. I…didn't handle it very well. She and I started putting together our plan that day. I desperately wanted to be there on the mission to thaw you out, but we both knew that it was probably better if I wasn't."

"You waited so long for me and you didn't even know if I would be the same person when I woke up." Esleigh whispered.

"We had never really talked about what was between us… but I knew how I was feeling, and I just had to hope that you felt the same way." He responded.

"When I was frozen, I was in this very complex nightmare controlled by Valkorion. I had to fight for my life while I was slowly dying and the only thing that kept me going was thinking about you." She admitted. "When we got the Gravestone working, I could access my archived messages… and I read yours every single night."

"Arcann took so much time from us." He growled. "When Lana told me what happened to you on Asylum, I was so angry that I almost couldn't handle it. After what he'd already put you through… you don't deserve anything that man has done to you. None of it. Honestly, I still get mad everytime someone brings up the carbonite. It's just not fair." She was silent for a moment, her expression unreadable.

"The Jedi were wrong." She murmured.

"How so?"

"Love is worth any suffering it may bring."

"You love me?" He asked quietly.

"I do. I love you so much." She confessed.

"I love you too." He responded, touching his lips to hers. She moved, swinging a leg over his so that she was straddling him and deepened the kiss. He responded immediately, tangling his fingers in her hair and pulling her as close as he possibly could. But it wasn't enough. She pulled at his jacket, managing to slip it off his shoulders.

"Is the door locked?" he asked, breaking the kiss momentarily, breathing heavily.

"Who cares?" She breathed, allowing him to lift her shirt off.

"Good point." He acknowledged, flipping them so her back was on the couch and crushed his lips against hers once more, silently hoping that nobody was feeling up to training at one in the morning.

* * *

"You know, that's the first time anyone's ever said that to me."

"What?" She asked, slipping her shirt back over her head and turning to face him.

"You're the first person who has ever told me that they love me. I never had parents, never had a real girlfriend. Just you."

"My mother was a Jedi, too. My father as well. I was given up as a child, so, same here." She responded.

"Guess we're both pretty messed up, huh?" He laughed.

"Yeah, but at least we're messed up together." She winked.

"So, are you feeling better?" He asked.

"Much better. Still scared, but I doubt that will go away anytime soon."

"Doubtful, but at least you're feeling better."

"You never actually said what you were scared of." She prompted.

"That's because it's losing you. I'll always be here waiting for you, no matter what."

"Theron, I can promise you that as long as I am physically able, I will always come back to you. I'm not going anywhere." He kissed her again, letting her warmth exile the hollow feeling he'd felt since she disappeared.

"It's _really_ late now, we should probably get some sleep…" he said, gazing at the console which blinked two in the morning.

"Will you stay with me tonight? I… don't really want to be alone."

"That makes two of us. Of course I'll stay. Let's go, before anyone finds out we've been in here all night." He said with a sideways smile. She laced her fingers in his and led him out the door, heading for her room. They split up outside of his so that he could grab some clothes. When she got to her quarters, she sent a quick message to C2, telling him to make sure the training room was in spotless condition. Soon after, she heard a soft knock on the door. She opened it, greeting him with a smile. They laid down, her head on his chest and his arm around her waist. For the first time in five years, they both slept through the whole night.


End file.
